


Het No

by CheeWrites, ShitStories (CheeWrites)



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Adult Content, Adult Language, Bottom Min Yoongi | Suga, But he's getting better, But no smut cause text fic, College AU, Crack, F/F, F/M, Gay Kim Seokjin | Jin, Gay Kim Taehyung | V, Gay Min Yoongi | Suga, Gen, Hoseok has an addiction problem, Humor, Humour, I forgot what I was going to tag oops, I'll update tags as I go, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jock Jeon Jungkook, Jock Park Jimin (BTS), Jung Hoseok & Kim Namjoon are roommates, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Kim Namjoon | RM are Best Friends, Kim Seokjin & Min Yoongi fuck a lot, M/M, Min Yoongi is a bottom pass it on, Namjoon and OC are siblings, SO GAY, Sex talks, Swearing, Tae is a hopeless baby, Texting, Top Kim Seokjin | Jin, a shit show, for now at least, let me know if you think of a tag, lol, not me, sex references, text au, text fic, thats what this is, threesome mentions, who knows what will happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:33:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22245643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheeWrites/pseuds/CheeWrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheeWrites/pseuds/ShitStories
Summary: Taehyung, Seokjin and Yoongi are gay as fuck and have a group chat.Namjoon and Hoseok are roommates.Jungkook and Jimin are jocks.This is what happens when Taehyung befriends his first lesbian.
Relationships: But its not really portrayed, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Original Female Character(s), Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Reader, Kang Seulgi/Original Character(s), Kim Seokjin | Jin/Min Yoongi | Suga, Past Hoseok/ex girl/OC, There will be memberxmember, and memberx non member
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Literally

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, don't even ask what possessed me to write this because I have no idea lol
> 
> But hey if you ever want to see something particular happen or have an idea, let me know because I'll probably write it lol 
> 
> New chapter means its a different day

Group Chat

**Club Het No**

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae and Yoongay. _

  
  


**Cutae;** I met someone new today

  
  


**Seoksin;** Tae, baby, you meet new people all the time. Please can you stop getting hearteyes for every cute straight guy that looks your way

  
  


**Cutae;** Hyung! I'm not that bad

  
  


**Yoongay;** Yesterday you announced you're going to have that dickhead jock's babies

  
  


**Cutae;** Uhm that's because he's the love of my life duh

  
  


**Yoongay;** You had literally just met him and he literally called you a freak and laughed before leaving you in a fucking puddle that he literally knocked you into

  
  


**Seoksin** ; Literally.

  
  


**Yoongay** ; shut up

  
  


**Seoksin;** I am your hyung! 

  
  


**Yoongay;** You're right

**Yoongay;** Shut up, hyung

  
  


**Seoksin;** Better

  
  


**Cutae;** Hyungs! Can we go back to my new friend?!

  
  


**Seoksin;** Oh a friend? So not a straight boy that will only ever break your heart?

  
  


**Cutae;** No! If you had let me explain instead of making ASSumptions you'd know that! 

  
  


Seoksin; Sorry baby, tell us about your new friend

  
  


**Cutae;** Okay so I was running late for my last class because I had gone to watch my future husband practise and holyfuckhyungs he was all wet and in tight lil trunks and ohmygod i practically saw his dick because its THAT FUCKING BIG I think my soul left my body and my asshole clenched i can't wait to get that in me

**Cutae;** So I was running through the sports building and I saw this girl legit slutdropping in the hall in front of the dance practice room and I thought she was trying to get some guys attention so of course I slowed down to be nosey and when i got closer i realised that it was a girls class or something and thought maybe she was trying to make her friend laugh but then she looked up at me and said she was reminding her girlfriend of how great her ass is like!!! a whole lesbian!!! I finally met one!!!

  
  


**Yoongay** ; ...are you fucking serious tae

  
  


**Seoksin;** I know I shouldn't comment on that whole first message because you'll just ignore my wise words of wisdom but boy is it tempting

  
  


**Cutae** ; Guys! You're missing the point! I met my first lesbian! 

  
  


**Yoongay** ; I don't know what you're expecting me to say. Well done? Congrats? I'm happy for you? Like, I don't understand the excitement here

**Yoongay** ; Lesbians are just gay females, they're no different than us except ya know, they don't like dick and we do

  
  


**Seoksin;** Tbh I think I've only met one lesbian

**Seoksin;** What's she like, Tae?

  
  


**Cutae;** Really nice! 

**Cutae;** She got up after spanking herself a couple of times and blew a kiss to her girlfriend before walking with me out of the building and we were talking the whole time and she's so laid back and cool. kind of like Yoongi-hyung just prettier

  
  


**Seoksin;** Not hard

  
  


**Yoongay** ; I'm pretty enough for you to fuck into the mattress on a regular basis

  
  


**Seoksin;** I may not be blind but my dick is

  
  


**Yoongay;** Fine, see if I let you cum in me tonight. You can use your hand

  
  


**Seoksin;** Like I can't get another twink to hop on my dick

**Seoksin;** Look at me, I'm beautiful

  
  


**Cutae;** Hyungsssssss

  
  


**Seoksin;** Great, now you've made my baby upset

  
  


**Yoongay;** ME?! I didn't do a fucking thing

  
  


**Seoksin;** Just like in bed then, isn't it

  
  


**Cutae;** Hyungs! Stop it! Can you stop pretending like you're not probably already in bed together 

**Cutae;** Like if this is your foreplay, I don't want to see it

**Cutae** ; My poor innocent eyes

  
  


**Seoksin;** Oh honey, you're far from innocent

  
  


**Yoongay;** Tae you're the kinkiest one out of us and hyung likes being spanked and called a dirty little cumslut

**Yoongay;** Which is weird because I'M the one that always gets covered in it

  
  


**Seoksin;** I like what I like. It doesn't have to make sense

  
  


**Cutae;** Very true, hyung

**Cutae;** But can I go back to my new friend?!

  
  


**Seoksin;** Sure thing baby

  
  


**Yoongay** ; Whatever

  
  


**Cutae;** She's the same age as you Yoongi-hyung! But she's probably taller. And she has these deep dimples especially when she smiles, it's really cute. She's smart too! Like, just the way she was talking was smart but she didn't make me feel dumb or anything and even technical stuff she said she kept simple and she said it's just how she talks with most people now because she had been told that she sounded pretentious and arrogant and it made me sad that people had been mean to her like that because she's so precious

Cutae; She said she has a younger brother who is even smarter than her but she doesn't mind because at least she doesn't have the problem of the extra brainpower taking away her ability to not fall on her face every two seconds

  
  


**Yoongay;** Smart af, dimples deeper than the sea and clumsy? Sounds like Joon

  
  


**Cutae;** Ohmygod it does! I didn't even think of him! 

**Cutae;** Thinking about it, they do have the same smile

**Cutae;** !!! 

  
  


**Seoksin;** I thought he's an only child?

  
  


**Yoongay;** I don't know. He's never mentioned a sister or anything 

**Yoongay;** I'll ask him

  
  
  


Private Chat

_ Members; Namjoon and Yoongi _

  
  


**Yoongi;** Hey do you have a sister?

  
  
  
  
  


**Namjoon;** Sister? What? Why'd you ask?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Tae made a new friend today who has a smart, clumsy younger brother and I thought of you

  
  


**Namjoon;** Geee, thanks, hyung

  
  


**Yoongi;** So? Sister?

  
  


**Namjoon;** Yes, I do. She's your age

  
  


**Yoongi;** Why've you never mentioned her? Don't you get along?

  
  


**Namjoon;** No we do but like...it's kind of a strained relationship because of our parents

  
  


**Yoongi;** Because of the same reason they hate me?

  
  


**Namjoon;** Because you're gay? 

  
  


**Yoongi;** Yeah. Tae said she was slut dropping for her girlfriend

  
  


**Namjoon;** Yeah, that's Isi lol

**Namjoon;** Or well, Isidora

  
  


**Yoongi;** That's not Korean

  
  


**Namjoon;** Yeah uhm, she came out pretty much as a kid and well, even after years of our parents trying to "cure her" she still got caught holding hands with girls so they disowned her and now she has a new family

  
  


**Yoongi;** Well shit, Joon, I was unprepared for all that

**Yoongi;** Are you sure you should be telling me that like I don't even know her and what if she doesn't want some random guy knowing that?

  
  


**Namjoon;** You're not a random guy, hyung, you're one of my best friends

  
  


**Yoongi;** I know that Joonie but she doesn't know me

  
  


**Namjoon;** She won't mind. She's very comfortable with her identity and hasn't classed our parents as her own since they told her she was going to hell for liking girls when she wasn't even 12 

  
  


**Yoongi** ; I don't blame her

  
  


**Namjoon;** No, neither do I

**Namjoon;** Her and Tae will get along well. They're both very open and honest about who they are, something I admire a lot about them

  
  


**Yoongi;** Yeah, me too

  
  


Group Chat

**Club Het No**

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae and Yoongay. _

  
  


**Seoksin;** I told her that vegetables don't count so she'll forever be a virgin

  
  


**Cutae;** My savage Jinnie-hyung

  
  


**Yoongay** ; What the fuck did I return to

**Yoongay;** Actually wait, I don't want to know

  
  


**Cutae;** Did you speak to Joonie-hyung?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Yeah, he said Isidora is in fact his sister

  
  


**Cutae;** !!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


**Seoksin** ; Wait Isidora Zima? I know her, she works with me to model the design students clothing

**Seoksin** ; She's beautiful

**Seoksin;** And she can pull off any look, male, female, androgynous, whatever

**Seoksin;** She's their favourite model and I honestly can't even be mad about it because she really is such a lovely person

  
  


**Cutae;** Right!

  
  


**Yoongay;** Ngl feel kinda left out now

**Yoongay;** I want to meet her and know what the fuss is all about

  
  


**Seoksin;** I can add her to the chat if you want

**Seoksin;** I've always known she's gay but I didn't want to add her because only I knew her

  
  


**Cutae;** Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

  
  


**Yoongay** ; Yeah I don't mind if she's as chill as you both say she is

  
  


**Seoksin;** Okay! 

  
  
  


_ Seoksin added Isidora to the chat _

  
  


**Seoksin;** Isi!

  
  


**Isidora;** Oppa!

  
  


**Cutae;** Hi Isi! It's Tae, we met in the sports building earlier! 

  
  


**Isidora** ; Tae! Wow, a fitting name, you're cute af

  
  


**Cutae** ; hehe thanks

  
  


**Seoksin;** Isi, meet Yoongi, the only one in this chat you don't know

  
  


**Isidora;** Hi Yoongi! Nice to kind of meet you

  
  


**Yoongay;** Hey, you too

  
  


**Isidora;** So, an anti het chat, huh?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Yeah, except for Tae who currently wants to get fucked by a straight jock

  
  


**Cutae;** Hyung! Don't out me to my new friend like that

  
  


**Yoongay;** The sooner she learns what she's signed up for befriending you, the better

  
  


**Isidora;** It's okay Tae, my girlfriend was straight until I ate her pussy

  
  


**Cutae;** See hyung, I have hope! 

  
  


**Seoksin;** Why did you have to tell him that, Isi? He's going to keep chasing after straight boys and get hurt again

  
  


**Isidora;** If anyone hurts my TaeTae they'll have me to deal with

  
  


**Cutae;** I can't find an emoji with heart eyes big enough to send rn

  
  


**Isidora;** lol I can feel the love anyway bby its fine

**Isidora;** Oh, I just got a message from my brother, you guys know that clumsy little fuck? lol

  
  


**Seoksin;** Namjoon? Yeah lol

  
  


**Yoongay;** I wouldn't call him little

**Yoongay;** He's a fucking giant

  
  


**Cutae;** You're just tiny, hyung

**Cutae** ; A smol boy

  
  


**Yoongay;** Still bigger than your dick

  
  


**Cutae;** I hope so

**Cutae;** You'd literally be a fairy otherwise

  
  


**Seoksin;** Literally.

  
  


**Yoongay;** I hate you both.

  
  


**Isidora;** Wait

**Isidora;** Min Yoongi then?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Yeah

  
  


**Isidora;** I've been trying to meet you for years! 

  
  


**Yoongay;** You have?

  
  


**Isidora;** Yeah, Nams talks about you and always updates me on how you're doing and what you're working on

  
  


**Yoongay;** Seriously?

  
  


**Isidora;** Yeah! When you first started to hang out, he would text me about this new friend that makes music like him and can rap too and he was so excited to finally have someone to share that passion with

**Isidora;** I don't know if you know this but you helped him get through some tough times, Yoongi so I'll always be beyond grateful to you for that

**Isidora;** If there's anything you ever need, you just let me know

**Isidora;** I've considered you family for a long time

  
  


**Yoongay;** Oh

**Yoongay;** Thank you, Isidora. That honestly means a lot. Joon's important to me, like a little brother so being accepted by his actual sibling long before I even knew of her really makes me happy so thank you for telling me that

  
  


**Isidora;** You can call me Isi, by the way, no-one important to me uses my full name

  
  


**Cutae;** I'm important to you?!

  
  


**Seoksin;** Way to ruin their moment, Tae -.-

  
  


**Cutae;** Sorry noona! Sorry hyung!

  
  


**Isidora;** It's alright, cutie, it's a group chat after all

  
  


**Yoongay;** yeah it's fine Tae. Don't sweat it

  
  


**Cutae** ; Oh noona, you need a different screen name

  
  


**Isidora;** So it seems

**Isidora;** I'm open to suggestions

  
  


**Cutae;** Isidorable! We will kind of match then

  
  


**Isidora;** That's fucking precious

  
  


_ Isidora changed her name to Isidorable _

  
  
**Isidorable;** I am part of your crew now, you can never get rid of me


	2. Blind

Group Chat

**Club Het No**

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Isidorable** ; Which one of you absolute babes will give me Namjoon's address?

  
  


**Seoksin;** You don't have your own brothers address?

  
  


**Isidorable;** I know he lives in the fuckboi dorms that I avoid those at all costs but he is a fuckhead that borrowed my favourite hat without my permission yesterday

**Isidorable** ; I hope you have no unfinished business because today Kim Namjoon may very well die

  
  


**Yoongay;** Over a hat?

  
  


**Isidorable** ; My favourite uncle gave it to me before he died a few months ago

  
  


**Yoongay** ; Oh, sorry

  
  


**Isidorable;** It's fine, you're not the one that killed him

**Isidorable;** No biggie

I **sidorable;** I just want my hat back so I don't have to wash my hair for date night

  
  


**Seoksin;** You're so lazy

  
  


**Isidorable;** I am

  
  


**Seoksin;** Can't believe you'd rather go to fuckboi dorms instead of just washing your hair

  
  


**Isidorable;** In my defence...

**Isidorable;** Okay I have nothing

  
  


**Yoongay;** tbh though, a big fucking mood

**Yoongay;** I feel you, Isi

  
  


**Isidorable;** Ew, that's het

  
  


**Seoksin;** Ew

  
  


**Cutae;** Ew

  
  


**Yoongay;** You're right, ew

**Yoongay,** Did you literally only come to the chat to say ew and then leave, Tae?

  
  
  
  
  


**Yoongay;** Guess so

**Yoongay;** Joon lives in room 13

  
  


**Isidorable;** He must hate that

**Isidorable;** For a genius, he's oddly superstitious

  
  


**Yoongay;** Yeah what's with that?

**Yoongay;** Like you can't be that smart and still believe all that shit

  
  


**Seoksin;** It is not shit. His room is unlucky. Every time I used to visit something would go wrong!

**Seoksin;** Which is why I won't go there anymore

  
  


**Cutae;** I thought it was because you think of the time you walked in on him jerking off every time you did and it made you wish he was gay

  
  


**Seoksin;** Tae!!!

  
  


**Yoongay** ; LOL

  
  


**Isidorable;** First of all, ew

**Isidorable;** Second of all I thought Nams was bi

  
  


**Seoksin;** ...he is?

  
  


**Isidorable** ; He's never said anything but he always gives off a bit of a gay vibe, not much just a bit like more of an openness I guess

I **sidorable;** Give it a go, he might be down to clown

  
  


**Cutae;** You'd be cute

**Cutae** ; Sorry Yoongi-hyung, you have to find someone else to fuck now

  
  


**Isidorable;** Wait, you two fuck? Jin and Yoongi? You two?

  
  


**Seoksin;** Yeah

  
  


**Yoongay;** Why are you so surprised?

**Yoongay** ; Because he's so much better looking than me? I'm not attractive enough for him?

**Yoongay;** Because he's charming and all the guys want him and I'm just a gremlin?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Shut the fuck up

**Isidorable;** You're a beautiful little bastard Yoongi so take that stale dildo from your anus and replace it with a fresh one

  
  


**Cutae;** "stale dildo" I amc rying

  
  


**Seoksin;** Cackling into my coffee

**Seoksin** ; I don't want Joon anymore I want this sibling

  
  


**Isidorable** ; You're too gay to know what to do with me, oppa

**Isidorable;** But to answer your question Yoongi, I am surprised because you both scream bottom

  
  


**Seoksin** ; Changed my mind, back on Joon

**Seoksin;** Me?! A bottom?! 

**Seoksin** ; Not for that tiny thing, I do not want that in me. I wouldn't be able to feel it let alone get my prostate fucked

  
  


**Yoongay;** Stop calling my dick small! It's perfectly proportional to the rest of me!

  
  


**Cutae** ; smol

  
  


**Yoongay;** Just because you're a fucking giant

  
  


**Isidorable;** Well not that this isn't entertaining and all but I've just walked into fuckboi central and about to track down a fucker and retrieve my stolen property

**Isidorable;** I'll be back later

  
  


*

  
  


**Isidorable;** So guys, funny story hahahahahaha

  
  


**Yoongay;** That sounded very sarcastic

  
  


**Cutae** ; What happened noona?

  
  


**Seoksin;** Do I need popcorn?

  
  


I **sidorable;** A bitch might

  
  


**Seoksin;** Gimmie a min

  
  
  


**Seoksin;** Okay I am ready

**Seoksin;** continue

  
  


**Isidorable** ; thnx bbe

  
  


**Isidorable;** So Nams wasn't in which I knew he wouldn't be and he said his roommate would let me in and so I was expecting some fuckboi and was very prepared to own that shit head but the door opens and hey what do you know i've had a threesome with Nams' roommate hahhahahhaha fuck me

  
  


**Yoongay;** No way! You have a threesome with Hoseok? I thought you're gay

  
  


**Isidorable;** Wait, you know Hoseok?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Yeah, he's like part of our group, the non gay group

**Yoongay;** But back to you apparently not being gay enough to be opposed to a threesome with a guy

  
  


**Cutae;** Do you really have a girlfriend noona?

  
  


**Isidorable;** I do, her name is Seulgi, she's studying to be a choreographer

  
  


**Seoksin;** Isn't she head of the girls dance team? Works with Hoseok a lot as he's head of male dance team

  
  


**Isidorable;** Fuck off

**Isidorable** ; You're shitting me

  
  


**Yoongay;** No, they're good friends too

**Yoongay;** Didn't she tell you?

  
  


**Isidorable;** No.

  
  


**Isidorable;** Fuck fuck fuck they have the showcase this weekend im so fucked

**Isidorable** ; i've never been before im always busy and theyre never that important but she worked ont he whole show this time

**Isidorable;** oh fuck this is not going to go well

  
  


**Cutae;** Why not? I'm sure Hoseok-hyung will be okay! He's such a nice guy!

  
  


**Isidorable;** I literally can't see out of my left eye right now because he just threw his drink at me and i don't know if he forgot he had a straw but it got my eye

  
  


**Yoongay;** No way, Hobi is too nice for that

**Yoongay;** What did you say to him?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Nothing

**Isidorable;** He opened the door and as soon as he recognised me BAM! Beer in the fucking eye

  
  


**Seoksin;** Its the middle of the day, why is he drinking beer?

  
  


**Cutae;** You know Joonie won't let him buy anything stronger 

  
  
  
  


Private Chat

_ Members; Yoongi and Hoseok _

  
  


**Yoongi;** You threw beer in Joon's sister's face?

  
  


**Hoseok;** Maybe

  
  


**Yoongi;** Hoseok.

  
  


**Hoseok;** She deserves it!

  
  


**Yoongi;** There was a straw in it, Hobi! She can't see from her left eye rn

  
  


**Hoseok;** Oh shit, I didn't mean to like blind her! I swear! 

  
  


**Yoongi;** I don't think you did but you're not the type to throw anything let alone your alcohol on someone

**Yoongi;** Which by the way we clearly need to have another talk about if you're day drinking again

  
  


**Hoseok;** I swear it's the only one I had today! and I barely had a mouthful before I wasted it on that bitch

  
  


**Yoongi;** Whoa. Bitch? I may not know her very well yet but I can tell that's not true

  
  


**Hoseok;** Clearly you don't know what she's like then

  
  


**Yoongi;** What did she do to you?

  
  


**Hoseok;** Doesn't matter

  
  


**Yoongi;** Bullshit

**Yoongi;** Tell hyung or I'll tell Joon you fucked his sister

  
  


**Hoseok** ; !!!!

**Hoseok;** How do you know that?!!!!

  
  


**Yoongi** ; She said you had a threesome

**Yoongi;** That was before she realised we know you lol

  
  


**Hoseok** ; Oh...yeah we did

**Hoseok;** ugh, this is so fucking awkward

  
  


**Yoongi;** Don't care

**Yoongi** ; Tell me

  
  


**Hoseok;** Ugh

**Hoseok;** Fine

**Hoseok;** Okay so this was like last summer when I went on holiday with my ex

  
  


**Yoongi;** You mean the one that you went away all happy and in a relationship and came back angry af and single and started to fuck everything with a pulse?

  
  


**Hoseok** ; Yes. Thank you for putting it so nicely hyung

  
  


**Yoongi;** Anytime

**Yoongi;** Get to the Isidora bit

  
  


**Hoseok;** Ugh that name ugh

**Hoseok;** We were at the beach and that bitch was on lifeguard duty

**Hoseok** ; I may have almost drowned when...someone bent over and my brainpower went to my dick and so she obviously saved me and we actually got along so on her break she joined us and the girls got along really well too

**Hoseok** ; One thing led to another and we wound up at our room after her shift finished and as much as I hate the result, the sex was the best I've ever had

  
  


**Yoongi;** Okay right, a lot to unpack there which we will return to but rn I'm interested in why you act like you hate her

  
  


**Hoseok;** She's the reason I came back single

  
  


**Yoongi;** ???

  
  


**Hoseok;** She turned my girl gay

  
  
  
  


**Hoseok;** Hyung? You there?

**Hoseok;** I know you read that

  
  


**Hoseok;** Hyungggg, don't leave me on read like this :(

  
  
  


Group Chat

**Het No**

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Cutae;** He has the cutest little smile too holy fuck I want to have his babies

  
  


**Seoksin;** Tae no

  
  


**Cutae;** Tae yes

**Cutae;** Noona you're smart you can figure out a way to make me able to get pregnant, right?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Darling I'm afraid to say that even Nams and I combined are not that smart

  
  


**Yoongay;** YOU TURNED HOSEOK'S GIRLFRIEND GAY OHMYGOD THIS IS FUCKING GOLD

  
  


**Isidorable;** He told you then

  
  


**Seoksin;** ohymgod, you did what? I'm cackling

  
  


**Isidorable;** Not my fault I have better sex game than him

  
  


**Yoongay;** Screenshotted

  
  


**Isidorable;** Its obviously true

**Isidorable;** Like who made her cum and squirt multiple times? Certainly not him I can tell you that much

  
  


**Cutae;** Wait, what's squirting? 

  
  


**Seoksin;** Google it

  
  


**Yoongay;** No don't

**Yoongay;** You're too gay for that

**Yoongay;** Trust this hyung on this, Tae

  
  
  
  


**Cutae;** too late

**Cutae;** Do you still have that straw noona because I could really use it rn 

**Cutae;** I never want to see that again

  
  


**Seoksin;** hahahahha

  
  


**Yoongay;** Told you

  
  


Private Chat

_ Members; Yoongi and Hoseok _

  
  


**Yoongi;** So you basically don't like her because she opened your ex's eyes to amazing sex?

  
  


**Hoseok;** I'm good at sex too!

  
  


**Yoongi;** I can't comment on that but I hear Isi's the one that made her squirt

  
  


**Hoseok** ;...getting a girl to squirt is really fucking hard okay!

**Hoseok;** She has more experience

**Hoseok;** I could make a guy cum better than she could because I have a dick so know how it works

**Hoseok;** She has a vagina so know how they work

**Hoseok;** It's logic!

  
  


**Yoongi;** Then why was the sex so good if you can do a better job with your own hand?

  
  


**Hoseok;** You're gay hyung you don't get the appeal of two girls going at it

  
  


**Yoongi;** Correct

**Yoong** i; I really don't

**Yoongi;** Did she touch you?

  
  


**Hoseok;** I mean...yeah...she touched us both

  
  


**Yoongi;** Did she make you cum?

  
  


**Hoseok;** ...yes

  
  


**Yoongi** ; And did her hand feel better than your own?

  
  


**Hoseok;** You know someone elses hand always feels better!

  
  


**Yoongi;** You're contradicting yourself now, Hoseok

  
  


**Hoseok** ; !

**Hoseok** ; I'm going now

**Hoseok;** I have better things to do

  
  


**Yoongi;** lol whatever Hobi

**Yoongi;** Hyung will be here when you're ready to be honest with yourself


	3. Oh Fuck

Group Chat; 

**Club Het No**

Me _ mbers; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Seoksin;** Hey, wanna see Isi looking way too much like a hot guy for my dick to handle?

  
  


**Cutae;** ohmygod yes!

  
  


**Yoongay;** A hot guy? Sure

  
  


**Seoksin;** *sent image*

**Seoksin;** I gotta say, she can almost give Joon a run for his money

  
  


**Cutae;** Oh wow! She is a hot guy! 

  
  


**Isidorable;** Thanks babe *wink kiss emoji*

  
  


**Cutae;** *blush emoji*

  
  


**Yoongay;** Why were you even dressed as a guy, Isi?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Art student wanted to prove gender is all perception and shit

**Isidorable** ; It was pretty fun really, took a while to do that makeup and styling though and a whole team was involved

  
  


**Seoksin;** I found her making out with Seulgi before final showcase rehearsal. I thought Seulgi was cheating

  
  


**Isidorable;** It was hilarious. I've never seen someone go so red, first from anger and then embarrassment when he realised it was me mid diss-track. Legit thought he was rapping he was dragging her so fast lool

  
  


**Cutae;** Wish I saw that

  
  


**Isidorable;** I'll get the security footage and we can watch it later

  
  


**Yoongay;** How are you going to get security footage from the uni? 

  
  


**Isidorable;** For legal reasons, you probably shouldn't ask

  
  


**Yoongay;** Understood

  
  
  


Private chat

_ Members; Yoongi and Hoseok _

  
  


**Hoseok;** Hyung! Why didn't you warn me that bitch was going to be there tonight?

  
  


**Yoongi;** For the lols

  
  


**Hoseok;** I hate you

  
  


**Yoongi;** It was pretty great to me. I've never seen you like that lol

  
  


**Hoseok;** I've never hated someone like this before

  
  


**Yoongi;** Bullshit

**Yoongi;** There is no fucking way you genuinely hate Isidora

  
  


**Hoseok;** I do!

  
  


**Yoongi;** Bullfucking shit, Hoseokie

**Yoongi;** I know you, you don't hate her

  
  


**Hoseok** ; Clearly you don't know me as well as you thought then because I hate her

  
  
  


_ Yoongi added Namjoon to the chat _

  
  


**Yoongi;** Joonie, you know Hoseok better than anyone. You saw him with Isi today, would you say he hates her?

  
  


**Namjoon;** What? No. Why would he hate Isi?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Exactly.

  
  


**Hoseok;** Hyung! 

  
  


**Yoongi;** Your best friend is backing me up, Seokie

**Yoongi;** You cannot win

  
  


**Hoseok;** !!!

  
  


**Namjoon;** What's this about? Why would he hate Isi? They don't even know each other

  
  


**Hoseok;** You're right, we don't

  
  


**Yoongi;** You'd never hate someone you don't know, would you Hoseokie? :)

  
  


**Namjoon;** You guys are weird

  
  


**Hoseok** ; It's hyung, he's being weird

  
  


**Yoongi;** You claim to hate her despite the fact you obviously don't.

  
  


**Namjoon;** Hobi? You hate my sister?

  
  


**Hoseok;** What? No! I don't! I don't even know her! 

  
  


**Namjoon;** Right...I'll be back in a sec

  
  


**Yoongi;** You're in trouble

  
  


**Hoseok;** Shut up! You're supposed to be the big hyung here! You child

  
  


Private chat

_ Members; Isi and Nams _

  
  


**Nams;** Do you know Hoseok?

  
  


**Isi;** Your roommate? Why?

  
  


**Nams;** Apparently he says he hates you according to Yoongi-hyung but Hoseok is denying it and saying he doesn't know you

**Nams;** Yoongi isn't one to make shit up for fun, not like this

**Nams;** But Hobi has never lied to me

**Nams;** Will you at least tell me the truth? Do you know Hoseok?

  
  


**Isi** ; I do, well I did, it was last summer

  
  


**Nams;** Oh, why isn't he admitting it to me? What happened for Yoongi to say Hobi hates you?

  
  


**Isi;** In short terms, he blames me for his breakup

  
  


**Nams;** Seriously? 

**Nams;** Why?

  
  


**Isi;** I showed his girlfriend how much better sex is with a girl and I guess now she's off dick for good *shrug emoji*

  
  


**Nams;** ...

**Nams;** She cheated with you?

  
  


**Isi;** Lol no, you know I wouldn't do that

**Isi;** He knew it happened

  
  


**Nams;** Oh...do I even want to know?

  
  


**Isi;** Nope

  
  


**Nams** ; Okay

**Nams;** Thanks for being honest noona

  
  


**Isi;** Of course lil bro

  
  
  


Group Chat

_ Members; Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon _

  
  


**Namjoon;** I'm back

  
  


**Yoongi;** Oh good, I was about to throw myself off the top of the clock tower

  
  


**Namjoon;** Have you been arguing this whole time?

  
  


**Hoseok** ; He is lying, Joon. Don't believe a world the evil gnome says

  
  


**Namjoon;** I know he's telling the truth, Hobi-hyung. I asked Isi

  
  


**Hoseok** ; Oh

**Hoseok** ; Fuck

  
  


**Yoongi;** Fucking lol

  
  


**Hoseok;** I swear I didn't know she was your sister when it happened! It was just once! 

**Hoseok;** Well it was over night and into the next day but it was one session really! 

**Hoseok;** If I knew she was your sister I never would've touched her! 

**Hoseok;** I swear it was just sex! 

**Hoseok;** I'm not into your sister! 

**Hoseok;** We haven't talked since! 

**Hoseok;** I hadn't seen her until I threw my drink at her the other day! 

**Hoseok;** I swear! 

**Hoseok** ; Please believe me Joonie

  
  


**Yoongi;** Still can't believe you threw a straw in her eye

  
  


**Hoseok;** It was a fucking accident, shut up, Yoongi.

  
  


**Yoongi;** Yah! I'm your hyung you brat! 

  
  


**Hoseok;** Then stop acting like a child

  
  


**Yoongi;** No

  
  
  
  


**Yoongi;** Namjoon is being extra quiet. He read your messages then vanished

  
  
  
  


**Hoseok;** You're right

  
  
  


**Hoseok;** OH FUCK SAVEAKLSJBFKJBEA

  
  


**Yoongi;** Seok?

  
  


**Yoongi** ; Hoseok?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Hello?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Whatever

  
  
  


Group Chat

**Club Het No**

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Cutae** ; I just saw something terrifying

  
  


**Seoksin;** What was it?

  
  


**Cutae;** Joon-hyung running through campus looking ready to murder

**Cutae;** His angry face is really scary

  
  


**Seoksin;** Huh, never seen it

  
  


**Cutae;** Neither had I until now

  
  


**Yoongay;** You saw him?

  
  


**Cutae;** Yeah

  
  


**Yoongay;** Which direction was he headed?

  
  


**Cutae;** Dorms

  
  


**Yoongay;** Lol, this is great

  
  


Group Chat

_ Members; Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon _

  
  


**Yoongi;** Did you kill him, Joon? Lol

  
  


**Hoseok** ; He gave me the worls biggest dead leg, I won't be able to walk right for days

**Hoseok;** At least the showcase is already over

  
  


**Namjoon;** I can't believe you knew he fucked my sister and didn't tell me! 

  
  


**Yoongi;** Hey, don't bring me into this. I'm not the one that got down and dirty with Isi

  
  


**Namjoon** ; You're right

**Namjoon;** Thank you for not having sexual relations with my sister, Yoongi-hyung.

  
  


**Yoongi;** No problem

  
  


**Hoseok;** I said I'm sorry! 

  
  


**Namjoon;** I'm not talking to you

  
  


**Hoseok;** We live together! 

  
  


**Namjoon;** I'm moving in with hyung until I forget what you told me

  
  


**Hoseok;** She told you first! 

  
  


**Namjoon;** Actually, she didn't say anything about you two, she said she had sex with your girl, not you 

  
  


**Hoseok** ; Oh...

**Hoseok** ; Fuck

  
  


**Yoongi;** You're an idiot, Hoseok

  
  


**Hoseok;** Shut up


	4. Dick

Group Chat

**Club Het No**

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Cutae;** He said hi to me!!!!

  
  


**Isidorable;** Baby daddy?

  
  


**Cutae;** Yes!

  
  


**Isidorable** ; When’s the wedding? I think your colour theme should be peach and light grey. You’d look great in a fitted grey suit with a peach shirt. No tie. Collar open of course

  
  


**Cutae;** Ohmygod that sounds perfect *heart eye emoji*

  
  


**Yoongay;** Don’t encourage him, Isi

  
  


**Isidorable;** Just making sure I get my maid of honour duties down

  
  


**Yoongay;** What makes you think Tae would choose you over us?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Because I support him in his hetero to homo agenda, unlike some.

  
  


**Seoksin;** The true gay agenda

  
  


**Cutae;** No! I don’t want his friends being gay too! His best friend is so hot like they’d so be gay together if they were gay. Strong no homo vibes

  
  


**Seoksin;** Poly relationship with two hot guys, Tae

  
  


**Cutae;** …

**Cutae;** u rite

  
  


*

  
  


**Isidorable;** Has anyone seen Nams? He told me he’d be at his place and for me to go over but only Hoseok is here. Nams’ phone is going to voicemail

  
  


**Seoksin;** Doesn’t he have his space nerd club rn?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Oh right, yeah. Thanks Jin.

  
  


**Seoksin;** No oppa? What’s wrong baby?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Today has not been a good day for me at all. Shit happened and I just want my brother because no-one knows how to stop me crying like he does

  
  


**Seoksin;** You’re still at Joon’s? Is Hoseok with you?

  
  


**Isidorable;** I don’t want to go home. She’s still there.

  
  


**Yoongay;** She? Seulgi you mean?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Yeah

  
  


**Yoongay;** Isn’t that what you want? To see your girl?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Turns out, she hasn’t been mine for quite a while, maybe never. Found her with her ex fwb’s cock down her throat on my fucking couch. Does anyone know a good place to burn furniture because I for sure don’t want that in my house any fucking longer

  
  


**Yoongay;** Fuck

  
  


**Isidorable;** Yeah

**Isidorable;** I dunno maybe it’s all on me anyway. I knew how much she loved dick when we first started seeing each other but I stupidly thought I could be enough

**Isidorable;** She said fake cocks can’t match up to the real thing and that I wouldn’t understand because I’m a giant lesbian

**Isidorable;** Is she right? 

  
  


**Seoksin;** You’ve had threesomes with guys

  
  


**Isidorable;** Yeah but I’ve never let a dick go near my vagina or mouth so I don’t know the difference

  
  


**Yoongay;** Okay first of all, I want to point out that it’s not at all on you, Isi, it’s her. You’re not the one that’s been disloyal, she has. She was the one that wasn’t honest with you and couldn’t control her stupid fucking sexual urges.

**Yoongay;** It’s not your fault it’s hers, okay princess?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Oh, princess? Pulling out the big guns huh, Yoongi?

**Isidorable;** Hoseok just threw a fucking shoe at me for smiling. 

**Isidorable;** Fucking smiling.

**Isidorable;** How can you like this guy? 

  
  


**Seoksin;** We promise he’s usually a sweetheart. He’s never like that around us

  
  


**Yoongay;** Ignore Hoseok he’s not important

  
  


**Private chat**

_ Members; Yoongi and Hoseok _

**Hoseok;** Dick.

  
  


**Group Chat**

Club Het No

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Yoongay;** Did you let Hoseok read my message, Isidora?

  
  


**Isidorable;** He stole my phone but I have it back

**Isidorable;** He’s such a little bitch

**Isidorable;** He’s pretty much crying because I tackled him and now am sitting on him so he can’t move

  
  


**Seoksin;** Yeah, he’s not the most adept at fighting

  
  


**Yoongay;** Can we get back to the important matter here?

  
  


**Isidorable;** You mean are real cocks that much better? Yes please do answer honestly

**Isidorable;** I don’t want to talk about her right now

  
  


**Yoongay;** Okay fine, but one day soon we’ll get back to it, okay?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Yeah sure whatever

  
  


**Cutae;** What’s going on? I was in class

  
  


**Seoksin;** Isi wants to know if real cock is better than fake cock

  
  


**Cutae;** Oh, why?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Scroll up 

  
  


**Cutae;** Okay!

  
  


**Seoksin;** Personally, I much prefer a real cock, one big enough to fill me in a way I can feel it twitch *heart eyes*

  
  


**Yoongay;** Okay yeah that is pretty hot but I’m good with either, unless it’s in my mouth then it has to be real

  
  


**Seoksin;** I’ll happily suck a dildo any day. I love having my mouth full. Sometimes I’ll suck on one while Yoongi rides me

  
  


**Yoongay;** Okay in that circumstance a fake cock in the mouth is great, when it’s Seokjin’s mouth it’s in and his cock is my my ass

**Yoongay;** Then it’s really fucking hot

  
  


**Private Chat**

_ Members; Hoseok and Yoongi _

  
  


**Hoseok;** Can you fucking not

  
  


**Yoongi;** Stop reading Isi’s messages then!

  
  
  


**Group Chat**

Club Het No

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Cutae;** Oh, well let me just quickly say that I love you Isidora and if wasn’t 10000% gay, I’d happily keep you for myself until death do us part

  
  


**Cutae;** And I’ve only used dildos on my own so I can’t compare like with partner wise but I always orgasm harder when there’s a real cock but that could be because I get off on the connection and having another person there too so I don’t think my opinion matters

  
  


**Isidorable;** Your opinion always matters to me baby

**Isidorable;** I love you too

**Isidorable;** Thanks for answering me gays. I’m going to put my phone down for a while and wait for Nams

  
  


**Yoongay;** If you need somewhere to stay tonight, or for a few days, my bed is big enough for two and I don’t mind being either the big or little spoon. Whatever you need, Isi

  
  
  


**Seoksin;** You never offer to let me be the little spoon!!!

  
  


**Yoongay;** That’s because your shoulders are too fucking big you idiot

  
  


**Seoksin;** Shut up and come ride me before I shove this dildo up my ass

  
  
  
  


**Private chat**

_ Members; Yoongi and Hoseok _

  
  


**Hoseok;** I have changed my mind

  
  


**Yoongi;** What?

  
  


**Hoseok;** You can keep telling Isidora about your opinion on cock 

  
  


**Yoongi;** I wasn’t aware you could make me stop even if I cared

  
  
  
  
**Yoongi;** Yah, Jung Hoseok! Don’t leave me on read again you brat!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not believe the real Seulgi would cheat on anyone so don't take it as that  
> It's just plot and the only reason I used Seulgi was so I could live out my gay fantasies with her for a moment okay let a girl be gay in peace


	5. Dumb

**Group chat**

Club Het No

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Yoongay;** So remember how yesterday I told Isi she can stay with me?

  
  


**Cutae;** Yeah?

  
  


**Seoksin;** What about it?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Well she was waiting when I got back last night looking mildly like she was in the midst of questioning her whole existence so I I opened the soju and we drank my entire stock

  
  


**Cutae;** That’s a lot of soju

  
  


**Yoongay;** Oh no, it wasn’t just soju, Tae. I mean my whole fucking liquor cabinet

  
  


**Seoksin;** Are you messaging from the hospital rn? Is this you being too proud to ask for us to come visit?

  
  


**Yoongay;** No, we’re at mine, both hungover af but alive

**Yoongay;** But back to the point. Turns out that last night after leaving the chat, Isi did something really fucking stupid

  
  


**Cutae;** Should you be telling us this, hyung? Won’t she be upset with you?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Nah she’s next to me and watching everything. She says you look great today. I don’t understand why she said that because she can’t know what you look like???

  
  


**Cutae;** Thank you noona! :3 You look great too! <3<3<3

  
  


**Seoksin;** It’s their morning routine, they send a message to each other saying they look great. It’s cute. Makes them both feel good and smile

  
  


**Yoongay;** How do you even know that?

  
  


**Seoksin;** Because I wake up early enough to spend time with my favourite lesbian unlike you who is an actual fucking gremlin before 11 am

  
  


**Yoongay;** Fuck off, Isi says I’m a delight

  
  


**Seoksin;** She’s hungover, she doesn’t know any better

  
  


**Yoongay;** Dick

**Yoongay;** Which reminds me of why I even messaged you fuckheads in the first place, to tell you the dumb thing Isi did

  
  


**Cutae;** Noona is a genius, she couldn’t have done something that stupid

  
  


**Seoksin;** What did she do?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Hoseok

**Yoongay;** Isi- He is now cackling to himself because he thinks he’s hilarious. 

  
  


**Cutae;** What did you actually do then?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Isi- Oh no he’s right, I fucked Hoseok. He’s laughing because he called Hoseok dumb

  
  


**Seoksin; ...** You did what?

  
  


**Yoongay;** Isi- I’m not proud of it. It was a mistake and now that I’m not so emotional about everything I’m very aware of that much. I just wanted to know what the big deal about real dick is and he was there so I suggested it and he didn’t need a lot of persuasion. None if I’m honest which surprised me but at the time I didn’t really care

  
  


**Cutae;** Namjoon-hyung is going to be so pissed at him

  
  


**Yoongay;** Isi- I know which is why we’re not going to mention it to him, got it?

  
  


**Cutae;** I won’t, I don’t want to see him scary like that again

  
  


**Seoksin;** I like Hoseok and would be sad if he died so I won’t either

  
  


**Yoongay;** Isi- Okay, thank you. I’m going back to bed now. Come over later for a cuddle sesh?

  
  


**Seoksin;** Of course! I’ll bring snacks because I know Yoongi never has any the lazy gremlin

  
  


**Cutae;** I’ll bring disney movies! And that fluffy blanket of mine you like!

  
  


**Yoongay;** I- You guys are the best *heart eyes*

  
  
  


**Private chat**

_ Members; Yoongi and Hoseok _

  
  


**Yoongi;** So, funny thing happened last night

  
  


**Hoseok;** My funny or your funny because your funny isn’t funny at all

  
  


**Yoongi;** Shut up and listen you brat

  
  


**Hoseok;** Fine. What happened, hyung?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Isidora came to mine to stay a few nights and she told me something interesting when she finally managed to relax with a shit ton of alcohol in her

  
  


**Hoseok;** Why is she staying at your place? Joon said she has her own apartment and it’s really nice for how cheap it is

  
  


**Yoongi;** Not important right now

  
  


**Hoseok;** I dunno, seems pretty interesting to me. More than whatever you’re going to say I personally believe

**Hoseok;** So let’s talk about that instead. Have you seen her place? Is it as nice as Joon says?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Oh no Hoseokie, you don’t get to change the subject like that

**Yoongi;** Want to tell hyungie why you fucked your best friend’s sister?

**Yoongi;** Especially knowing Joon has only just gotten over the fact you had a threesome with her last year?

  
  


**Hoseok;** Uh, no no I don’t think I do want to tell hyungie anything about that

**Hoseok;** And hyungie wouldn’t force his cute little dongsaeng to talk about something he didn’t want to, would he? :3

  
  


**Yoongi;** Tell me before I wake Isi back up and convince her that telling Joon is actually the best thing to do

  
  


**Hoseok;** No! He can’t know!

  
  


**Yoongi;** Then tell me what went through your stupid fucking head when you agreed to have sex with her!

  
  


**Hoseok;** She’s hot, okay?! I’m not blind. She’s really fucking hot physically even if her personality is shit

**Hoseok;** I don’t have to like her as a person to fuck her

**Hoseok;** And I mean I couldn’t exactly say no! She was already sitting on my dick when she asked and having a hot girl asking em to fuck them while they’re already on my dick is obviously going to make me say yes!

  
  


**Yoongi;** You’re despicable

  
  


**Hoseok;** What the fuck hyung? You know how much I love sex and I’ve told you worse stories before like it’s not even that bad! It wasn’t kinky or anything! 

  
  


**Yoongi;** It’s not about that, it’s about the fact that you took advantage of an emotionally compromised person, Hoseok

  
  


**Hoseok;** What? Emotionally compromised? What does that even mean?

  
  


**Yoongi;** You’re not genuinely that dumb so stop acting it. You know she was upset

  
  


**Hoseok;** What?

  
  


**Yoongi;** She was at your dorm for comfort from her brother because her heart had been broken and you took advantage of her in her weak state

  
  


**Hoseok;** She was?

**Hoseok;** I didn’t know

**Hoseok;** I swear hyung, I didn’t know. She looked fine when she arrived

**Hoseok;** Did something happen with her and Seulgi?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Yeah, Isi caught Seulgi sucking her ex fwb’s dick on Isi’s couch

  
  


**Hoseok;** Well fuck. I never thought Seulgi would be the type to do that. She’s always been so lovely. Didn’t peg her for a cheater

**Hoseok;** Jesus, especially not in her girl’s place. I really though she loved her

  
  


**Yoongi;** According to her, she does but it’s not enough to keep her from real dick

  
  


**Hoseok;** What a bitch!

  
  


**Yoongi;** Yeah

**Yoongi;** You really didn’t know?

  
  


**Hoseok;** Fuck no! I wouldn’t have agreed if I knew

**Hoseok;** I can admit I’ve done some questionable shit for sex but never anything that’ll take advantage of someone no matter if they are Isidora

  
  


**Yoongi;** Yeah, I think I knew that really, I’m just pissed for my friend

**Yoongi;** I’m sorry for being a dick, Hoseok. I don’t really think so lowly of you I’m just frustrated that I can’t do anything

  
  


**Hoseok;** It’s fine, hyung, I understand. You’re just being a good friend to her. She needs that right now I imagine

**Hoseok;** And you are doing something, you’re there for her and she’s staying with you. You gave her somewhere to go when she needed it and I know you anyway. You’ll do anything to make people you care about feel better. I know because you’ve done it for me countless times, hyung

  
  


**Yoongi;** Yah don’t go getting sappy on me brat

  
  


**Hoseok;** lol, whatever hyung

  
  
  


**Hoseok;** Is she okay though like I didn’t make things worse did I?

  
  


**Yoongi;** I’m not going to lie, Seokie, she regrets having sex with you last night. But that’s not your fault, she’s an adult capable of making her own decisions and she knows that so she doesn’t blame you at all

**Yoongi;** She’s just really fucking gay and regrets ignoring that just to know what the deal with real cock is

  
  


**Hoseok;** What do you mean the deal?

**Hoseok;** Do you mean why Seulgi cheated on her for it?

  
  


**Yoongi;** Pretty much

  
  


**Hoseok;** Oh

  
  
  


**Hoseok;** Did she give a review now she’s tried the product herself?

  
  


**Yoongi;** I am not going to tell you how she rated your dick game, Hoseok

  
  


**Hoseok;** So she did tell you! Tell me pleaseeee

  
  


**Yoongi;** No. Good night Hoseok

  
  


**Hoseok;** It’s the middle of the day, hyung

  
  
  


**Hoseok;** Yoongi?

  
  


**Hoseok;** Hyung? 

  
  
  
**Hoseok;** Ugh fine, whatever. I know I’m good anyway


	6. Baby daddy

Private chat

_ Members; Yoongi and Hoseok _

  
  


**Hoseok;** I never thought the day would come where I don’t wanna work with Seulgi but every time I look at her it’s like I see a giant neon sign over her head saying “IM A GROSS FUCKING CHEAT”

**Hoseok;** How am I supposed to work with her now? I may have to talk to Coach Lee because ngl kinda feel sick knowing what she’s done

**Hoseok;** Like I don’t even like Isidora but she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on in her own home like that

  
  


**Yoongi;** Wow, never thought I’d see the day you feel an emotion regarding Isi that isn’t “hate”

  
  


**Hoseok;** What’s with the speech marks? I do hate her. She ruined my relationship

  
  


**Yoongi;** She didn’t lol

  
  


**Hoseok;** You weren’t there. You don’t get an opinion

  
  


**Yoongi;** I’ll find your ex and ask her then

  
  


**Hoseok;** Yeah right Mr Good night at midday. Like you’re gonna go out of your way to look for someone you don’t give a shit about

  
  
  


**Yoongi;** u rite

  
  


**Hoseok;** Ugh she’s trying to get me to come back but I don’t wanna be near her ugh

  
  


**Yoongi;** You’re literally a fuckboy, Hoseok

  
  


**Hoseok;** Yes I have sex with a lot of different people but they’re never in relationships

  
  


**Yoongi;** As far as you’re aware

  
  


**Hoseok;** As far as I’m aware

  
  
  


Group chat

**Club Het No**

_ Members; Seoksin, Cutae, Yoongay and Isidorable _

  
  


**Isidorable;** Taeby?

  
  


**Cutae;** Yes noona?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Ya know your baby daddy?

  
  


**Cutae;** Yes *heart eyes* what about him?

  
  


**Isidorable;** What’s his name?

  
  


**Yoongay;** He doesn’t know lol

  
  


**Cutae;** I’m not a stalker! And I haven't had the chance to introduce myself to him yet

  
  


**Isidorable;** Oh well is this him?

  
  


_ Isidorable sent a photo _

  
  


**Cutae;** Yes! Omg he’s so hot *heart eyes* where did you get that picture? I’ve never seen him look so good

**Cutae;** Saving that for later hehehe

  
  


**Isidorable;** I just took it ;)

  
  


**Cutae;** noj;aerhfajkerajkgbaer;jng?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

  
  


**Isidorable;** He approached me like an hour ago and asked to meet for lunch and of course I accepted because he said he’d pay so here we are

  
  


**Yoongay;** Didn’t you tell him you’re gay?

  
  


**Isidorable;** He didn’t ask *shrug* 

  
  


**Cutae;** Nooonaaa he’ll never be by baby daddy if he knows my maid of honour is the girl he failed to pick up because hse’s gay! *cry*

  
  


**Isidorable;** It’s not a date. It’s legit the first thing he said to me when we sat down

**Isidorable;** He looked so nervous bless him

**Isidorable;** He was worried he’d upset me by saying that

  
  


**Seoksin;** That’s kinda cute

  
  


**Isidorable;** I know! He’s actually really sweet and soft and a fucking dweeb

**Isidorable;** Baby I so approve of your marriage, you’d be so good together

  
  


**Cutae;** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


**Yoongay;** So if he didn’t ask you to lunch to try and get in your pants then why?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Apparently he’s seen how well I do androgynous pics and he and his friend want to work with me? Like on the down low because none of their friends know that JK himself loves photography and his buddo (Jimin I think) is actually really good at fashion design???

**Isidorable;** Like legit, JK showed me some of his designs on his phone and shit son, I’m in love with his designs

  
  


**Cutae;** JK? Is that his legal name? I don’t know if Kim JK will work. What’s his surname?

  
  


**Isidorable;** Nah it’s Jeon Jungkook but he said he likes to be called JK by his friends so guess we’re pals now

  
  


**Cutae;** Jeon Taehyung! Kim Jungkook! 

  
  


**Seoksin;** Keep your name. Bring him to the Kim clan

  
  


**Yoongay;** I thought you’re against them?

  
  


**Seoksin;** I trust Isi’s judgement. If she thinks he’s a good guy and they’d be a good match than I am all for my baby marrying a jock

  
  


**Cutae;** Thank you hyung! *blow kiss*

  
  


**Isidorable;** Anyway I remember you saying you like fashion and photography yourself right Tae? I mentioned you to him and he said if you can keep a secret as in don’t spread that him and Jimin are into this stuff then you can come along and help Jimin sew and shit and JK with finding good spots for shoots and shit

  
  


**Cutae;** I have the biggest heart boner rn

  
  


**Seoksin;** Only heart? 

  
  


**Cutae;** Okay maybe a lil chub too but only a lil

**Cutae;** But it’s still bigger than Yoongi-hyung’s

  
  


**Yoongay;** Can you fucking not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have literally nothing for the next chapter so if you have ideas, drop em in the comments or else this'll probably never be continued les be real lol


End file.
